It's that time of year again.

What should be baby boys 2nd Birthday.

So many thoughts....

I keep telling myself that the date has no power.  The actual date, no date.  Because if the date doesn't have any power than the memory could come when the memory wanted to come.  It's time to take the power back!!  Yet, I find myself consumed with the actual date.  Picking them off one by one.  First his birthday, then the holidays, finally the day he was taken from us.  I find myself pondering more the thoughts of what he'd be like opposed to what he was like on these dates.  When would he have started walking?  How many teeth would he have?  What color would his hair be?  Blonde or Brown?  What would be his favorite food? Movie? Toy?  What would I buy him for Christmas this year?  My gosh, he should be the same age as my oldest...how bizarre. 

Ahh.....

I wish 

I wish 

I wish....

I wish I didn't have to wonder!

I wish I didn't have to remember!

Maybe this is why the memories don't ALWAYS come when they want.  So...until I can find a way to actually take the power back, the date has power over me.  Some day I know it won't.  And even though it does, there are tons of memories to revel in.

Happy Birthday Ethan!!!

Click this link to read of Ethan's life journey
 

224 balloons representing 224 days on earth and 224 memories to cherish.
Forever in our hearts, gone but never forgotten.

FUCF...