My Beautiful Daughter

My beautiful daughter
You cannot know
How much my heart breaks
As I watch you grow
 
In time you'll become
Independent and free
Always my daughter
And special to me

As you grow older
You will see
Through the eyes of a mother
Reflections of me

Past, present and future
All intertwined
My mother, your mother
All daughters you'll find

Our reflections, not vanity
Mirrored lives we share
Always a daughter
Your mother, who cares.

  by Julie Copeland 

Three years ago today my life took a drastic turn and changed in ways I could never imagine. It's very clear to me that being a mother is one of my sole purposes in life.  I was meant to have these girls and whatever pain I endured to get them was beyond worth it.

Happy Birthday Kadence!!!

"I love you to the moon and back" <3

 This is our special wave goodnight and goodbye.  
Every night and every goodbye!

A Chuck E Cheese Birthday

We Celebrated Kady's 3rd Birthday at Chuck E Cheese this year.   It was a bit chaotic as I am finding all birthday's to be regardless of location, but everyone still had fun.  I discovered there is a reason places such as this serve beer.  Can you believe I have a 3yr old??  Crazy....

 The most amazing thing about turning 3
Is your world's now filled with discoveries.

determination

I think a lot can be learned from kids.  Especially my kids  :)  Alright, I had to say that.  In this post I'm referring to my 10 month old Zoe.  This kid has more determination than any I have seen in a long time.  If there were enough hours to waste in the day, I would sit on the couch or living room floor and watch her endlessly.  She's at that stage where she's rolling, crawling and pulling herself up on things.  All you hear is huffing and puffing as her cheeks turn rosy pink and her body temperature begins to rise.  Have you ever sat back and watched a child at that age??  Watched them move?  Man it looks exhausting.  But to watch her struggle, fall down and pick herself right back up again over and over and over and OVER is absolutely amazing to me.  What determination!!!!  To learn how to walk....geesh, what hard work.  I consider it a blessing that we don't remember such challenging tasks as this (and teething).  Just think of what your own personal life could be like if you approached everything with that kind of determination.  How about the world?  Such a refreshing frame of mind.  The farther you climb, the farther you fall.  The harder you try, the greater the possibility for disappointment if things don't pan out.  But wouldn't it be worth it to know that you at least gave it your ALL?!  There would be little room for "what if" or "I wonder."  At least you would know "I gave it my all,"  "I tried."  Don't let fear stand in your way or even fear of disappointment.  More is lost by indecision than no decision at all.   Pick your path in life and live it the best that you know how.  With as much determination as you have.   Keep your dreams alive.  It's important to understand  to achieve anything requires faith and belief.  Belief in yourself, vision, hard work and determination.   "Remember all things are possible for those who believe." 


Attack life!!  It's going to kill you anyway.

Thank you to my beautiful daughters for always reminding me how to live.  How to be.  I admire what children can teach us without speaking a single word. 

Snow Days

It does snow in the desert.  In fact the mountains get a ton of it. We do have snow skiing as well about 45mins out of town or 30mins from our driveway.  It's nothing spectacular but it takes care of the skiing itch.  At least once a year we will get snow in the city.  Being that we live right up against the mountains we get a little bit more than most of Las Vegas.  Seeing Kady's face light up to a backyard of snow was absolutely priceless.  PJ's and all we ran right out there.

Up at the Mountain

Sledding at Mt. Charleston with MacKenzie and Kaitlynn

a few days later we woke up to this in our backyard....

Off to Red Rock
It was so pretty we decided to take a little drive out to Red Rock Canyon.  There are few things more gorgeous than a fresh, light blanket of snow covering the red rocks.  We didn't drive all the way in so I didn't get the photos I would have liked.   Besides it was SO foggy it wouldn't have shown up on film anyway.

     ^---  Kady's little snowman  :)

Las Vegas got SO MUCH rain and snow this week that the water level of Lake Mead rose one and a half feet....insane.  I kid you not our pool was an inch away from overflowing as well.  It was nuts.

January

The beginning of the year seems to be strangely difficult for me.  Both this year and last.  I've come to realize a few things that have become a pattern.  For the past two years in the month of January (and clear through to March) I think of my nephew Ethan like CrAzY!!!!  I feel as if the month of January may have been the beginning of the end for him.  Maybe because it was this month that he was transferred to Seattle Children's Hospital where just two short months later he would lose his battle with Cystic Fibrosis.  I get more notices, fliers and emails from the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation beginning in January being that the GREAT Strides walk for CF is early in the year for Las Vegas.  That also makes me think of him more often.  January also serves as a reminder that the dreadful day Ethan was granted his angel wings is quickly approaching.  Each year I think it will be just a little bit easier to deal with and each year it is equally as difficult.  As if it were yesterday.  Kadence's birthday is also in January. Ethan and her would be, SHOULD be the same age this year.  Again, a painful reminder. 

So many thoughts....I stayed up past 2am last night browsing through pictures of him...some painful, most happy and smiley.  If he only knew how many lives he touched and inspired.  What an astounding accomplishment for such a small being.  I am a proud auntie for sure.   This picture is by far one of my favorite pictures of Ethan although there are SO many.

 Look at that huge undeniable smile!  He was SO little then and if memory serves me correctly, this was the first time (of many) he was completely tube free.  Unfortunately that wouldn't last but for a moment.  I remember crying with joy when I first saw this picture.  It was as if he looked up and said "look mom/dad, no tubes!!"  "finally....free at last!"  Although his battle with CF would be lost, this to me represented the first of several huge accomplishments in his fight. What I wouldn't give to hold his fragile body, kiss his pale yellow and salty skin while whispering  sweet "i love you's"  and word of encouragement in his ear just ONE MORE TIME!!!

I love you Ethan Andrew....more than you will ever know.

My girlfriend, one of my sister's closest friends, also lost someone dear to her in the month of January....her brother.  The last portion of this post is dedicated to her, Kassi Jo and her brother Nathan Hays.

I'd like to take this moment to remember Nathan and the crew of RAIDR04, lost 9 years ago today in the mountains of Pakistan....

Pilot: Capt Matthew W. Bancroft, 29 
Co-Pilot: Capt Daniel G. McCollum, 29 
Flight Engineer: GySgt Stephen L. Bryson, 35 

Loadmaster: SSgt Scott N. Germosen, 37

Flight Mechanic: Sgt Nathan P. Hays, 21

Navigator: Lance Cpl Bryan P. Bertrand, 23 

Radio Operator: Sgt Jeannette L. Winters, 25

 another soul taken too young and another beautiful smile to always remember. 


"Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal" ~From a headstone in Ireland


Forever loved and cherished by so many...
May you all Rest in Peace!!

Picture of the day

pondering, reflecting, wondering, hoping, praying....

Just a few of my thoughts as 2010 ends.

I find myself like never before reflecting more on my personal relationships with Dominic and the girls opposed to "life" in general.  The good, the bad, the ugly, all of it has consumed my everyday thoughts.  What can I do different or what can I improve?  What are my strengths as a mother, partner and friend.  What do I want and expect as a mother, partner, friend?  As a team (meaning Dom and I) what we do best and what still needs to be improved  upon.  Where we've been, where we're going. I think my mantra for the upcoming year of 2011 is "to be the best me I know how."  I think as spouses and parents we tend to lose a bit of who we are in hopes of maintaining or strengthening relationships that are already established.  I've found this to be some what unproductive for me so far.  I emotionally take out my frustrations on my husband or my girls and specifically Kady only because she's old enough to know.  It makes me feel horrible when I do so.  It's not like me to do that either.  One of the few things in this world that makes me smile and shows ME unconditional love does not deserve the brunt of my bitchy, bad attitude because I'M having a bad day.  So, that being said, I think It's time to go back to the basics and start with me.  A better me, will make me a better mother, partner and friend.  I need to trust that the relationships I've already established will be there and with a new and improved me they will strengthen on their own.  Maybe today is the day to drop the pessimism and look forward to 2011 with as much optimism I can muster up at this point.  This year is most definitely starting off rough for my family and I but it's not like we haven't dealt with and conquered "rough" before.  Here's to the best 2011 we can possibly hope for.

A Christmas Story

This Christmas was all about starting traditions.

Meet Casey our Elf on the Shelf
He made his appearance on the first of December. 

Cookies for Santa (not on the meal plan but devoured anyway)  :)

 don't forget milk for Santa

Lastly, food for the reindeer so they can find our house.